So I went to a new gyno the other day. I was afraid that she would be like the other ones I have gone to. One who yelled at me and made me feel insecure, afraid and like a horrible person; one who didn’t care and just threw me on pills and one who didn’t do anything. I was pretty sure, and afraid, that this person was going to do the same thing to me. I went with little expectation. If you go in with no expectation, then you won’t get hurt. So, I went in, anxiety high (I have high anxiety when I get a pap) and filled out their paperwork. I did mention to the nurse who was asking me all the questions that I was nervous about this doctor, told her about the first one I ever went to and she told me that this doctor was a good one. How was I to take her word? She worked for the doctor, so she was bound to be biased, right? I nodded and told her that I’m sure this one will be good. I got undressed and sat on the table to wait.
The doctor came in with her follower (I guess a guy that she was training) and asked me to make sure that I was ok with him there. I am not a happy person being there in the first place, but it isn’t so much the people that make me afraid, it’s just the idea of what’s about to happen that is my problem. Only one way to learn right? So, I agreed to have him there and learn.
Long story short I am very happy with my new doctor. She didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or ashamed or crazy. She listened to what I had to say as if she really did care and even made small jokes. I liked her a lot. The guy with her was super nice too. He laughed at my jokes as if I were actually funny! Bonus points for him!
Anyway… they did the exam and it was the first time in a long time that I didn’t have a panic attack. She did the breast exam and asked if he could do it also. I told her it would be fine, but I was a little scared at first. Because of the easy-going banter that we all had had before this actually helped because while he was doing it, I did feel a little awkward at first because it’s the first time a guy besides my husband has touched my breast. He did an awesome job and she kept me talking which helped take my mind off it a bit. Then it got to the actual Pap Smear and, again, she asked if he could do it. He was training to do all this on his own, so the only way he was going to learn was to be the one to do it. So, I said go ahead. I had told them before that I was scared and anxious, but they were both awesome. She stood over his shoulder and with them both there, they were quick. It also helped that while they were down there, she was making small jokes which made me laugh, like she meant for it to. Then, before I knew it, it was all over, and they were telling me to sit up.
With the exam over, we started talking again and I slipped in there that I want to start talking about having kids. She told me that it when I was seriously ready to try for kids there were options. I told her that the last doctors I had gone to threw me on metformin and I wanted to know if there were other options. I didn’t like the way that Metformin made me feel. You know what she said to me about that? There are other options that we can and will explore.
The one thing I know is that people judge other people who smoke. I get it from a lot of people. It’s a major flaw and so hard to remedy. It’s my calm down when I have anxiety. It’s a habit that I feel unready to give up because I don’t know what to replace it with to help me. I get tired of hearing people rag on me about how unhealthy it is because I know. So, when she found out I smoked I was expecting a lecture that I have heard over and over again. I was pleasantly surprised when she didn’t. She looked at me and said, “You know that smoking doesn’t help right? Easier said than done.” And that was it. I kept waiting but she didn’t say anything else.
Next thing she told me, what I already knew, was that I needed to lose weight. As you probably already know, people with PCOS have a harder time losing weight. There are SO MANY diets out there. How am I to know which one will be best? Not only do I not know which one to do but I don’t know how to do it. So I asked her for help. AND SHE DID!
Ok I am pretty sure you are like “Why is she saying it like that? Wouldn’t they help you if you ask?” No that’s not the case. I have asked a dozen (give or take) of doctors and nurses and no one wanted to help. They would tell me to just not eat something or don’t do something. Well that is not very helpful to me because I need to know what I should do or shouldn’t do. If I don’t know how to do it then I won’t because I would rather not do it then look stupid or get frustrated. THAT’S NOT WHAT SHE DID! She told me to get dressed (I was still covered by the blanket after the exam) and told me to see her once I was done.
I believe that this was the fastest I have ever gotten dressed before. I was kind of excited to see what she had for me.
Now that I was dressed, I walked out of the room and she was there with paperwork. She told me that the best diet a person with PCOS is a low carb diet. Oh, my batman, that is so easier said than done. But she handed me this book and it’s called Carb Counting and Meal Planning by Cornerstones4care. It says that it is for diabetics but that’s ok. This book is amazing. If you have a chance to find it online or ask your Gyno or regular doctor if they have it, you need to get it.
The point of me telling you this is this:
Don’t settle for a doctor you don’t like, you don’t click with, you don’t feel comfortable or makes you ashamed of yourself for ANYTHING! If they do, then it is your right and your need to find someone else. (After all, YOU ARE the one paying them.) If you like your doctor then you will go back to them more often, you will make more appointments with them and not be afraid to tell them whatever you need. You will trust them to help you with something that matters the most in your life. Please don’t settle for less than the best for yourself.
This has been a rocky road for me, and I pray that you don’t have to go through all that I have in this journey. You deserve so much better.
You are strong. You are brave. You are loved.
Keep fighting and find your voice.